Rebekah Staggs

You know when I mention that my husband works from home I’ve had comments ranging from, “That must be so nice to have him around all the time.” to (usually from young wives just starting down the road of a work at home husband)  “How do you stand having him around all the time?”  

It wasn’t always easy. When we switched from part time “day job” and part time home business, to full time home business I’ll admit it had some moments. A few tips I’ve learned over the years that have made things easier.

Home, but not really home:
It is a hard adjustment to make the switch to working from home. When a husband works at an outside office and comes home he is home and hopefully work is left at work. When he works from home he *IS* home all the time, but he is working a big portion of it. So while I can ask for help if I really need it, the idea is to act during the day as if he is off at a job. Because, he *IS* at his job. This helps *HIM* to make the mental switch that he is working, even though he is home. Sometimes the switch between work is done and I’m home now gets a little blended, but that happens with a lot of outside jobs as well.

When the muse strikes:
Being married to a programmer is a little like I’d imagine being married to an artist would be like. When the muse strikes and they are in the zone GET OUT OF THE WAY! I’ve spoken with several other wives (Husbands in the same business) and I think it must be something in the hard wiring of our men. Maybe it is part of what makes them good programmers. Whatever it is when they are working on a problem it is best to just let them take care of it. After a frenzy of programming usually comes some quiet relaxing time. Sometimes food, drink (coffee/caffeine seems to be a driving force behind a lot of coding.), and the occasional reminder of other responsibilities is in order… otherwise it is best to just let the streak run it’s course.

Organization:
Yes, I’m big on organization. I am a homemaker, we run a home business and my husband works from home all day, and we home-school. That is a lot of time for all of us to be at home. Keeping things orderly and running well makes for better use of time and less stress. It is difficult to get work done if you are living in chaos and have a long list of things that are nagging at your mind.

A day out:
Never underestimate the power of a day out. Being homebodies is a good thing. Too much of a good thing is sometimes not a good thing. Make good use of a day outside of the house. Take yourself/pack up the kids and leave the house for most of the day. Go watch a movie, walk the mall, go to a park, go to the zoo, go somewhere and do something. This makes for a good day for work in an empty house or even just enjoying the house with peace and quiet. And of course sometimes switching places can be nice for HIM to get out and clear his mind.

The perk of single-minded programmer types:
When they switch from coding to courting it can be quite nice to have all that single minded attention roll back to you.  😉

Or a more eloquent way of saying the same thing:

Wives should manifest such a character as to be worthy of love. They
owe this to their husbands. They demand the confidence and affection of man;
and they should show that they are worthy of that confidence and affection.

It is not possible to love that which is unlovely, nor to force affection where it is
undeserved; and, as a wife expects that a husband will love her more than he
does any other earthly being, it is but right that she should evince such a spirit as
shall make that proper.

A wife may easily alienate the affections of her partner
in life. If she is irritable and fault-finding; if none of his ways please her; if she
takes no interest in his plans, and in what he does; if she forsakes her home
when she should be there, and seeks happiness abroad; or, if at home, she never
greets him with a smile; if she is wasteful of his earnings, and extravagant in her
habits, it will be impossible to prevent the effects of such a course of life on his
mind.

And when a wife perceives the slightest evidence of alienated affection in
her husband, she should inquire at once whether she has not given occasion for
it, and exhibited such a spirit as tended inevitably to produce such a result.

– Barnes