Rebekah Staggs

I enjoy our evenings. I mean I REALLY enjoy our evenings. We don’t do anything particularly special on our evenings: We cook. We eat at a table as a family. We talk. We play games. We read. We watch TV. We relax. Our evenings are not filled with hustle and bustle. They are spent together hanging out. I cherish the time and don’t give it up easily.

We used to be the average American family. Our evenings were filled with things. We did school and work during the day and the extras in the evenings. We ate, and came home, and slept, and did it all again the next day with something different. Some evenings we even went our separate ways to do all the extra curricular activities we were in.

A few years back we stopped. We did nothing. I came to cherish the stillness and togetherness. Now we do one activity on a weekly basis. During the day. We float and rotate other activities on a non-stressful loose schedule. All during the day. We thought long and hard about adding to our activity and a couple of nights a month we give up an evening to our one activity.

I am always hesitant to add anything to our schedule. We enjoy doing things, but still have a lot of free time to let ourselves unwind and be creative. I don’t want to go back to the hustle and bustle of rarely (Or never.) having an evening home. Everything seems to be during the evenings. You can have something every evening and never be home except to sleep! Evening service at church, Scouts, karate, church again, music, dance, date night, friends night, kids’ night, movie night, on and on till there are no evenings left in a week or a month. Next thing you know years have flown by.

Yes, we miss out on certain things, but I believe the benefits of not burning the candle at both ends are worth it. We are not usually stressed about our activities. We are generally on time to the things we attend . We get the things we say will do done. We keep up with our schooling. Our home is usually clean…or at least organized. We eat most of our meals at our kitchen table at home. Best of all we spend large quantities of time relaxing at home as a family.

It’s a balance we have found that works in our lives and we cherish our evenings. What do you with with your evenings? How much time are you actually spending together?

My husband, my son, and myself were out doing errands. It was lunch time and we were sitting down at Panda Express enjoying a meal together. My son had finished almost all of his work for the day. It was our first week back to school and  after a two week winter/holiday break I was feeling the “first week back blues.” 

As I was sitting there, enjoying my chicken and veggies, and thinking how much I enjoyed our school break. Even though I was sick for half of the break. I had a wonderful time not doing the school thing. Not having any set time we had to do things or go places. We played games, watched TV, read books, cooked, talked, and just had a wonderful relaxed time. I ENJOYED being around my son and having all the extra time since we were NOT going to practices or studying anything in particular. Just hanging out.

As I sat there missing the more relaxed, unscheduled, couple of weeks of just hanging out with my son I heard the woman at the table next to me say, “I am so glad school started yesterday. I couldn’t stand being around my kids any longer!” How sad for her, how sad for her children.

Counting down the days till our next break when I can once more enjoy an abundance of unscheduled free time with my child!

Okay, I am sure there are a few responsible parents and kids out there with those wheeled shoes that use them in a safe manner, I even know a couple of them, but honestly what is up with the rest of the parents and kids?

I saw enough on the health and safety issues concerning them to want to by pass them all together. If I want my kid to skate around I’ll get him a skateboard, scooter, or skates and make sure he does it while wearing a helmet and safety pads. If you want to gamble on your child’s ability to stay safe while wearing these things that is your business, but not when their usage is a safety issue for others.

Why do you think it is okay for your kids to “skate” around the stores and malls with these things? Granted they are banned a lot of places, but that doesn’t seem to stop anyone. You wouldn’t let your kids ride their bike, scooter, skateboard, Rollerblades/rollarskates in the store what makes you think Heelys are okay? You see your kid barely missing people and yet you do NOTHING!

I’m constantly dodging these little punks and brats everywhere I go. I saw at least 4 going up and down the isles in maybe 40 minutes of shopping. And those are just the ones that I dodged. Parents right behind them oblivious of the accident waiting to happen that is their child on wheels.

Every time I see a kid go skating past me I want to stick out my leg and trip them. I really do. Then I want to go over and slap their parent on the head. If you’re going to be in a crowded place make them pop the wheels out and give it to you at the least. If you can’t take responsibility for your own child’s behavior and usage of them then DON’T buy them for them!

Be the parent: Take responsibility, teach them courtesy, or make a stand.

Found an interesting article on DrLaura.com today while looking for something else:
Nine Things to Consider Before you Decide to be a Parent

“Do you realize that most people become parents without thoroughly discussing how each was raised and how you intend/fantasize/desire to raise your child? |
They just assume, “It’ll work once the kid is here.”

I find this to be so true.

 Most don’t consider or talk about what roles they want to fill, or assume the other will fill, in parenting. How they will parent. If they SHOULD or even CAN parent. I find myself amazed when all of a sudden something about religion or discipline comes up and parents are left there thinking… “Wow. I had no idea we were on opposite sides of the spectrum. What now?”

Most seem to just have some vague idea, based off popular consensus, of what they might do and figure it will iron itself out later. If your standards and morals are at all important to you, and therefore passing that on to your child, I would think you’d consider and talk about that BEFORE bringing that child into the world…

Better yet, when choosing your future mate.

I see babies raising babies, while friends are waiting in adoption lines, and it bothers me. Do these kids even think about the long term? What is best for the baby?

Having and raising a baby isn’t something to be taken lightly. It is physically, emotionally, and financially draining. It ain’t easy. It is not all cute cuddly fun. And, it doesn’t come cheap.

Financially: How Much Does it Cost to Have a Baby? On average around $9000-$11,000. For the first YEAR.  Life in the Fast Lane Breaks it down a little more on an item by item basis. That is just the first year. You’ve got at least another 17 after that.

No more trips. No more designer clothing. No more a lot of things. You brought a life into the world you need to take care of that life before what makes YOU happy. Oh, I’ll just work to offset the cost? Quality Day Care will cost you almost as much as you make. If you’re very young, probably more. So all of that on Dad’s income flipping burgers?

Emotionally: Are you really prepared for getting up all night, changing diapers all the time, not having time to hang out with friends or at parties because you need to take care of your baby? For crying jags that last for hours? For putting aside your wants and even some needs for the sake of what the baby needs?

Physically: That body is going for a ride. You will never be the same as you once were. Those first few months are draining. Sleep deprivation is quite normal. Yet, you have responsibilities as a parent and that comes before just sleeping like you want to.

Are you really prepared for that? Are you willing to give up what you want for what is best for the baby? Are you expecting/assuming the grandparents are going to shoulder the burden? They already did their responsibility and raised their kids. Now you want them to take on YOUR responsibilities? Think about it…

Having a baby can be a wonderful, rewarding, joyful, blessing. When brought into a mature, loving, committed, stable, 2 parent Marriage. One that is willing and able to make the sacrifices needed to raise a healthy contributing member of society. Is that what you’re giving your child?