I admit I was reluctant to watch this movie. I was warned there was an infertility theme so I stuck it in on the bottom of my queue and didn’t think about it until it finally came in the mail. I am not really much of a “chick flick” kinda gal, but I am a foodie so I thought I’d give it a try once it came in. I had ignored posts or blogs about the movie until after I watched it so as not to color my view of watching it.
Overall it was an enjoyable movie. The food and the cooking were fun. Meryl Streep portrays Julia to a T! I also liked how they portrayed the relationship between Julia Childs and her husband. You don’t see a lot of loving, supportive, and obviously still sensual relationships between married couples on the screen these days. Much less an older couple that has been married for a lot of years. I found Julie to be a bit much at times, but her husband came across as overly supportive and understanding.
As for the infertility theme I totally missed the first scene where they reference infertility. Apparently they are sitting on a bench in the park and there is a wistful look of longing at a baby stroller? I remember them on the bench, but must have blinked and missed the look or something.
In the other scene it has been maybe 15 years or more since Julia got married. Her sister (in her late thirties/early forties?) gets married and as a newlywed writes to tell Julia she is pregnant. Julia has a moment of shock. Starts sobbing while saying, “I’m so happy.” Her husband looks at her and pulls her into his arms. End of scene. It took maybe a minute for the whole thing to play out with very little dialogue. What amazes me is the wealth of difference everyone seems to read into this scene.
Just some of the things I found that people said about the scene:
It was a tense family situation where Julia is sad for herself because she can’t have children.
She is envious and bitter about her sister’s pregnancy.
The people in the movie theater laughed during the scene.
It had all the complex and conflicting emotions someone feels when a loved one has what you won’t.
Resentment, joy, grief, resignation quickly played out in that brief scene.
The one thing I found was that you could tell a lot about the writer by what they saw in that moment. Each wrote what their own feelings would be in the same situation. Those who have never been touched by infertility saw a bitter woman who really wasn’t happy for her sister. Or who maybe was happy, but overcome by her own inability and loss.
Those in the midst of their own struggles saw what they deal with on a daily basis. The happy joy for a loved one co-mingled with the brief moments of ugly that come at first and then you fight back down with the better part of your nature.
Those nearer the end of their journey, and closer to peace, saw the reminder of things past or lost mixed in with the joy and happiness for a loved one.
Of her own infertility, from Julia’s book, “My Life in France.” (Which I have not read, but found some excepts from.) She writes,
“We had tried. But for some reason our efforts didn’t take. It was sad, but we didn’t spend too much time thinking about it and never considered adoption. It was just one of those things. We were living very full lives.”
I wonder if she really considered it “just one of those things” at the time she was going through it? Or, if this is just how she views it looking back 50 years after the fact? Either way I think the infertile world can find comfort in the words of a 90 year old woman who never had children. Who led a full life. Who had a loving marriage. And at the end of it all infertility was just one of those things in her life. I, for one, find comfort in that.
I’ll close with something I read recently (It had nothing to do with babies or infertility.) that really summed it up for me. That Place of Peace and Acceptance we all as infertiles strive for and beat down the ugly parts of our natures to get to:
It said a great deal for her that she watched him without an excess of envy. Yearning, yes, and maybe a little sadness.
Not only is it a long journey, no matter what you strive for, to get to the point of sadness and yearning without bitterness and envy. But, it takes someone who has also walked a difficult path to recognize the difference between the two.
